Somehow, despite the lack of phone, I managed to meet up with cousin Pash on... oh wait, the day before yesterday. We went to J Co. Donuts and had half a dozen between the two of us, chatted about stuff, and she took random artsy pictures of the condensation on the plastic cup of her drink. I brought the bubble stuff and this old game we used to play as kids and it became a total walk down memory lane filled with giggles and muttered curses as we fought the rust that had stilted our skill. an hour after the mall closed we finally left, going to SS15 to get movies to watch and then later on to the stall near my place that serves the best damn burgers ever made. We both had the biggest, sloppiest burgers they had, then returned to my place at 12.45 a.m. and hung out and generally acted like the piggish, pseudo-boys that we are. She found my new fedora, I lent her my trenchcoat and the BB gun that looks too real for words and armed with her shiny DSLR, I took pictures. And I dubbed it her "Italian Mafioso wannabe gangsta" shoot. When she uploads them on Facebook, I'll post them here, because I think some of them turned out quite well.

It was sometime after she left (not having watched the movie as her sort-of-but-not-quite boyfriend had "invited" her to a party) that it occurred to me that she's probably one of the best friends I have in the world. Has been ever since we were kids. I've a lot of childhood friends, and although there are times (a lot of them, to be honest) when I feel far more comfortable in the presence of my own company and/or my laptop I have no real trouble making friends and get along with people quite easily, but Pash is one of the very few people in the world that it would truly sadden me to lose as a companion because she has been mine practically since we were in diapers. Although I act differently with different groups of people, like I said to , that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm acting a part, or that I'm not being who I am but rather I feel that they are different facets of myself that I can really only comfortably show to certain people. Pash, though... she comes closest to seeing who I am in entirety, and that is not something that a lot of people can say. And with her, I don't really need to put up a front, and with me, she feels the same. There are things about Pash that she would NEVER show people, but she shows those parts of her to me. And although there are times when I feel paranoid and insecure and annoyed and angry at her, no matter that sometimes I see or hear about her life and it dawns on me that certain things about her life makes us seem worlds apart, the bottom line is I love her and she's family. Much more than my siblings because there are so many things I can't tell them, or show them, about myself.

As I get older, it sort of amuses me to see how many of the people I hang out with I've known for a while. I can still remember that when I was younger, how three years seem to be such a long time and yet tomorrow I'll be having a sushi date with a friend I've known since I was eleven. That's nearly nine years. Both of us have grown up and matured (or so I hope) and yet when we're together it almost seems as though nothing has changed. Despite growing up in different parts of the world, despite having had such vastly different life experiences it seems as though how we've developed as people has been rather on par with each other. Her humour, her beliefs and her thoughts circle so closely to mine that it's a little unnerving. Things that she likes now, which I share, are things that we would never have considered as children. I know that turning 20 isn't that big a pinnacle in my life, that I've still a long way to go and in the grand scheme of things I'm still young yet but I think now I appreciate more these old friendships. Just the longevity of it all amazes and awes me.

A week ago, my mother told me that she was proud of me. I think children will never truly grow out of hearing a parent say that. While I might say that I don't look for parental approval, I think that inside all of us, or at least most of us, we hope for it. Sometimes that hope is crushed but when we doreceive that tremulous acceptance, we're over the moon.

Anyway, I'm hoping to be able to meet up with Nas and Pash tomorrow, as Nas will leave for Dubai before I get back from London and I'll probably not see him for a long while. And oh dear god, I have not started packing, but I know it won't take me too long. Although my flight is in the freakin' morning. I need to find myold UK SIM card so bad. Also, yay I has a new number! It's the same one as before, so it'll be easier on people, but dear fucking god, it's so damn difficult getting back lost numbers. I hates it, yes I do. And I'm using my mum's old N90. XD