You are one of God's mistakes, you crying, tragic waste of skin...

... And I need to kick this habit of using song lyrics as the titles to my post. Really. The lyrics from this title comes from Placebo's "Song to Say Goodbye". I've been listening to Placebo a lot, recently. Don't know why. One of their songs caught my attention and I went on a downloading binge. I also went on a downloading binge for Blue October and Oasis. Then I started on Def Leppard, Eric Johnson, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Frank Zappa and Stevie Ry Vaughan. I don't know why. Also, Joe Satriani doing Beethoven's 5th? So freaking hot. I like rock instrumental remakes of classical music. There's a few by... Malice Mizer, I think. Some Beethoven and Mozart stuff that they've done some amazing things to. Oh wait, not Malice. Amadeus. Some of their stuff is way out there, but the ones that are good go beyond good, they're amazing.

The Servant have such wacky lyrics. I was listening to Glowing Logos and just about had a heart attack laughing so much. I mean, seriously:

Glowing logos out my mouth they twist
As I head on into town
Above the pavement I gently seem to lift
As I take a look around
It gets lonely swooping around like a phantom
It gets lonely lost in the black of an ocean
So help carry on
Lead me to someone
To someone like me

The vacuum-sealed  acrobat vampire
A broken credit card he rides
Slow and majestic he bids the zombie choir
“Begin your hymns of genocide”
It gets lonely swooping around like a phantom
It gets lonely lost in the black of an ocean
So help carry on
Lead me to someone
To someone like me

I could touch you underneath your mind
I could touch you where your boyfriend cannot find
And you’d be mine
Oh you’d be mine
Ceremonies with ejector seats and drugs
Made my memory bow
And artificial stimulation rods
Made you pitifully slow-mo
It gets lonely swooping around like a phantom
It gets lonely lost in the black of an ocean
So help carry on
Lead me to someone
To someone like me

You’re just my barcode
Baby you’re my barcode
Every day
You’re just my…

I especially love the second and third verses of this song.

In other news, my brother has gone nuts. After not playing Guitar Hero for close to a month, he decided to buy a second "guitar" for me to use. All because I showed him this video. The intricacies of the male ego amuses me. But anyway, it fired us up and my brother is determined to move into Hard level as opposed to medium. Me? I don't give two shits. Right now I'm just trying to be able to get everything above 90%. But hey, I get to listen to great music while I pretend to play the guitar, what's not to love? 3s and 7s by Queens of the Stone Age is love. It's got wicked cool guitar riffs.

My dad is going on a diet. My dad. It makes me go 0.o I have no weird for the weirdness of that, except for the fact that it's for health reasons. That I totally respect. And weirdly enough, once my father sets his mind on something, he'll do it right. So if you see my dad having lost tons of weight? Yeah, you know why. My mum isn't starving him for no reason. :P

Speaking of my father, the family is planning on throwing a party for the father's 60th this year. Maybe rent a nice place somewhere, have music and good food and dancing. My brother suggested that we should have a theme of "60s" so music is going to be like that. And it's apparently going to be dress up fancy as well, which is just weird. It'll be smallish or so, not over 80 people (I love how I say that's small but I guess for my parents and the people they know, it is. So my dad's MCKK friends and Army friends etc.

My sleeping habit's gone way out of whack again, recently. I'm not sleeping before nearly seven in the morning, get up late, and I don't do freaking anything because I haven't felt like it. I need to, though. Have to write this paper for the gallery, find out information on curators of various museums in the London area... fuck. And I have my other job as well. You know, the one that actually pays me to do nothing. *sigh* I just want to go to college. Is that too much to ask for? GAH.

Oblique Reference is eating at my brain. Not only do I have the main story arc to write, but I wrote one side story, and I'm planning on writing a series of AU offshoots which crosses over to other stories in our universe, using my friends' characters. Cael is smug. Cael's also been talking to some of V and C's characters and I swear to god, reading our conversations, not knowing us or what's going on, will make us seem completely fit for the loony bin. I mean, how else could you see people who talk as though their characters are actually living, breathing people with active personalities who "make you do things"? And the objects of our imagination talk. To us, to each other. And they have distinctive personalities. It would make me worried if I didn't find it all so damn amusing. At least I'm not the only one with this problem. V and C seem equally unable to control their characters as well, and neither does M, from what I've heard.

It doesn't help me that Cael is a flirty manwhore who wants to jump on anything on two legs. *sigh* And he's a mouthy, irreverent, bratty, remorseless and just... perfection. *sighs* He's like the brother I never wanted, but am proud to have. Although embarrassed. Because the thing about him hitting on everything? Wasn't a joke. And it's a bit disconcerting to hear the running commentary in my head.

... I hate getting emails from my dad. They're all so terribly formal and UGH. AGH. I FEEL LIKE TEARING MY HAIR OUT. But damn if I'm going to back down from this. I've made my mind up. I'm going to fucking Taylor's, I'm going to do the ADP and I will fucking go to Cornell if it's the last thing I fucking do. *glares at email* See how you like THAT response. Shit!


NB: The response was more logically thought out and calmly written. And as stiffly formal as his. Why is my family like this, WHY?

Need. To Stop. Reading. JPop. RPS. NOW.


But oh god it eats at my brain. A lot. So very, very distracting. And dudes, stop me from killing my iPod from overlistenig to Shuji to Akira's Seishun Amigo. And Yamashita Tomohisa's Daite Senorita. Please. Please.

So aside from my rather embarrassing decline into JPop-dom as opposed to JRock (Oh god, KAT-TUN fangirling, because those boys are NUTS and gay and CRAZY and just so, so funny) and being blown away by how different and sexy Yamapi's singing voice is to his normal voice, things are progressing normally. Last Sunday I was one of the minor bridesmaids in Maya's wedding, I have discovered a shop that actually caters to my impossible-to-buy-shoes-for-big-feet, and bought a pair of gorgeous olive green heels. The only drink from Starbucks that I actually like and am addicted to is still the mango passionfruit frappuccino and I just bought House season three box set, Supernatural season two boxset, Death Note one and two, along with The Vision of Escaflowne and 1 Litre no Namida which features the hot, hot, hot Nishikido Ryo from NewS(God, why do I like the snarky, evil bastards, anyway?). Vicki, the bint that she is, has gotten me addicted to Tygati's writing and I'm busily reading up her stuff. Vicki recommends the Kidnapped saga, and I swear, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! It's too freakin' long, what with Maderrs version of it as well and GAH. But yes, my lack of willpower and their fantastic writing will see me flail as my lack of willpower sees with more late nights finishing it.

I have finished one of the three books that I bought recently, which were Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, and I'm now reading Douglas Coupland's JPod and still have Janet Fitch's Paint it Black to go. Neverwhere... I adored. I love Neil Gaiman's works. I first read one of the Sandman series (Endless Nights, which I just found to be gorgeous) and then I read American Gods and really, he's shaping up to be one my favourite authors. It's fantasy at it's best and one thing I just loved about it all was how normal the main character was. It's just wonderful. And the Duke de Carabas is just this most amazing flawed character who's shady and cunning and selfish and greedy yet has these rare moments of humanity that's just all the more powerful for how much it juxtaposed his normal character, and how Neil Gaiman has twisted the London I know and love into the dark, interesting world of London Below is just... wow. Best characters are de Carabas and Door. It's touching, dark, ironic and funny and just wonderful. The awkward developing relationship between Door and Richard was just so realistically portrayed and... Yes. Much recommendation for this book.

JPod, from what I've read, promises to be a great read. It's ironic and sarcastic and just utterly brilliant. That is all I can say for now because really, I've a long ways to go before finishing.

I will be taking part in NaNoWriMo officially this year, I've decided, so I need to think up some ideas and pronto. I've one already that I'm contemplating and it's... interesting. Oft times quite dark but it promises to delve deeper into the human psyche, this idea of foreseeing the future and what that kind of power would do to someone, if it really is a gift or a curse. I'm also toying with a few ideas that I came up with before but haven't written, one of which is based on the concept of self-judgement after death, what you would do if you had no choice but to truthfully, without bias, set your own fate for either heaven or eternal damnation... and whether such things exist outside the scope of the individual's belief. It follows a young man who died too early, who had a bright future and endless talent, brought up Catholic and renouncing religion after he fell in love for the first time at the age of fourteen with the priest of the church his family frequented.

Another idea explores the concept of alternative worlds within art, if there was somehow a doorway to connect such things, how emotions and plots and memories are absorbed by them, contorting them constantly. It revolves especially around David's The Dead Marat painting, then goes on to a few others like Munch's The Scream and Manet's Bar at the Folies-Bergere. How realism and illusion blurs until it becomes unclear what is reality and what is illusion, and if it really was illusion or a different sort of reality.


Aside from that, a lighter horror/fantasy novel with romance, witty quips, handsome bastard anti-heroes and a sarcastic, mouthy, bitchy woman reluctantly placed in the role of heroine. Probably with vampires, or witches, or both.

The second brother made me watch Goal 1 and 2. And The Bourne Ultimatum just confirmed my love for the trilogy and Matt Damon and his sexy, sexy back. Guns, carchases, political intrigue and backstabbing, and assassins with a conscience, what's not to love?

Anyway, will go now. Need to finish blasted Akame RPS and stuff before wireless cuts down.