Scraps of Literacy

For some reason, the poetry came pouring out last night, probably because the prose has dried up over the past month or so. Make that nearly two months, because that was when I last wrote a chapter for Conventio Custodis. I've still got that next chapter of The Saboteurs to write before my readers suddenly decide that I've dropped off the face of the earth and stop checking for updates because that would be ouch. Especially seeing as how well those two are doing.



This whole posting on TV thing (hotel room, internet on TV, score...) is weird. For once thing it's refusing me to press enter whenever composing an email or, in this case, writing something here, so I've got to go hands on and write Html which is really quite a pain. And it seems a bit different than LJ. I mean, why is the italic html < e m > (without spaces, obviously)? Oh well, at least the the other tags still work perfectly fine. Hey, what gives?! I can go on a new line via enter on the html function but not with the normal view? WTF? The mind, it boggles.

Anyway, slightly angsty poetry ahoy. Don't ask me where this came from.


Addiction

It's always been so easy
To let you know my heart
So easy to let you in
Watch you tear me apart.

You're a drug I need,
My only hope for release,
Your coldness is my addiction,
I need the cut of your kiss.

How has it come to this?
I'm lying in bed shivering from our ice,
Crying tears inside
Letting go of all things normal and nice.

I'm a junkie desperate for a fix,
You're the heroin killing me inside,
I've tried to quit you before,
But all I could do was hide.

I tried running from you,
From the whiplash temptation of your smile,
No one ever said I was wise,
Believing your sweet whispers and deceiving wiles.

I've lost what little sanity I had,
When you touch me, I'm lost,
And I'm crying out in anger inside,
Just realising my naivety's high cost.

I want to leave you,
To let go of your hold on me;
But I can't be released
From the skillful web you weave,
All I can do is beg you, please;
My addiction's increased.



That was written as a set, but it's the one I prefer. The first was too long, the second lacks something. Anyway, here's the second:

Too Late

I've watched you from afar,
Hungry for all the little things you do,
Needing to hear your laugh,
To bask in the sunshine warmth of your smile;
It's been years since I met you,
Years since I realised my fate,
I've tried to stop it,
But it's all too late.

You're happy with someone else,
Arms wrapped around your date,
Shining like the beacon you've always been,
So efforlessly you drew me in;
I can't look at the love on your face,
Or the joy you bring to someone else,
Tear my heart out,
I'm in pain.

I'm always too late,
Too slow on the uptake,
So now I'm sitting around dreaming of release,
Your lips, your touch, your teeth.
I want you to tear me apart,
Bleed me onto the earth,
I'm in pain.

I want your hugs, your smiles, your touch,
I want all you give her for free,
But I know that it's all too late.


NB. The original last three lines saw me writing: "I want all you give him for free, for some reason. I thought it sounded better. For the sake of posting it and from saving myself from some unwanted question, the sex referred to in the poem has changed. That is all. If you're a guy you can change it to the original in your head. I still think it sounds better that way.